Dear Restaurateurs of the world:

The following are reasons that people come to your establishment and give unto you the results of their labours in exchange for sustenance:
1) Patrons are too busy or too lazy to cook food for themselves at home
2) Patrons are too lazy to clean up after cooking their own meal at home.
3) Patrons are too busy and/or lazy to shop for the ingredients to cook their own meals at home.
4) Patrons are closer to your establishment than to their own home.
5) Patrons are unskilled enough to cook the type of food that you provide.
6) Your establishment has something special (Ambiance) that they can’t get at home.
Nowhere on this list is the lack of a 3 1/2 foot pepper grinder a deciding factor as to whether to patronize your establishment or not.  Never, in my entire culinary history, have I been sitting at home, staring at all the necessary ingredients, a willing and able chef at my side, and a scullery boy on call, and thought to myself:  “Gee, I’d like to create a unique culinary experience at my own home, but I just can’t be bothered to grind my own pepper, from this itty bitty pathetic 5″ grinder… Let’s go out somewhere, where we can have our pepper ground for us, from a pepper grinder the size of my leg”
Please do the world a favour and fire the ‘Pepper Grinder’, and replace them with pepper grinders on each table.  Take the money you save from their salary and hire a bathroom cleaner on a more regular basis…

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One Response to Dear Restaurateurs of the world:

  1. Brian says:

    Totally agree! As for moderating…well…at least you know I’m reading you on a regular basis. Censor me and it looks like you won’t have ANY customers for your blog…even if you do cook me a meal and sprinkle it with a femur-sized pepper ornament!! 🙂

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